Pace of a Woman

Patience woman patience
Your system needs pacing
Count his efforts
If easily accessible he rids you of your innocence
Walk into love with him
Falling can break your limbs
The impact will never be the same again
Left deserted kissing cement
All because you tripped off of infatuation
Misconceptions
Resurrections of highlighted moments
Rekindle past feelings
Attempts to fill voids as you’re reeling
And reeling
And reeling
Only to reveal you’ve been hooked to nothing
The substance unexplored
The hope exists no more
Emptiness at core
Obsessed with what it could have endured
Lost sight of what it truly was
Ignored reality to adore a mere mirage
Massage concepts of my feet planted back on the floor
Head high to meet you eye to eye
Windows of the soul you wiped
I blame you but deep inside
It was I
Vulnerable woman
Desired and fantasized this life
Believed who I made you to be rather than who you presented to me
Disregarded what I did not want to see
Crazy?
Advertently optimistic?
Emotional wreck?
Lack of self-respect?
If I give him sex will he become attached?
Will it terminate what we managed?
Will it change the dynamics?
Help me understand this
Strain myself to give effortlessly
All to make him labor for a piece of me
Both intentions are formed by ourselves in the beginning
The remaining encounters are tests to give these expectations validity
Prove my sanity
Prove me right.